The Short List

The best friendships are never planned

I have always had a small friend group. I know a lot of people, I have a lot of acquaintances, but true friends, the people I would call in the middle of the night from the side of the road if I had a flat tire, it’s a short list. People I would fly 2,000 miles for? That list is even shorter.

But that’s exactly what I’m doing next week.

I met this friend more than fifteen years ago when she was tending bar at an upscale restaurant where I often attended business dinners. One evening I arrived early for a meeting and decided to have a drink while I waited. I was the only person at the bar, so we started talking.

I liked her instantly.

She didn’t seem like someone you would typically find tending bar. She carried herself more like someone who owned the restaurant than someone who worked there. She was confident, intelligent, and self-assured in a way that immediately caught my attention. I could tell she had an interesting story, and she was more than happy to share parts of it.

She told me she was finishing a finance and accounting degree. She was in her early thirties and only months away from graduation. I remember thinking what an odd fit that seemed for her personality, but I wasn’t surprised by the ambition behind it. It was an intense degree program, and I could tell she was exceptionally smart.

What started as a conversation over a cocktail turned into a friendship. Before long, I hired her. Over the years I had the opportunity to mentor her, cheer her on, and watch her build a life that looked very different from the one she was living when we first met.

She finished that degree. Then she kept going.
She built a successful career. She earned a graduate degree. She invested in herself and in her future. She bought property. She traveled. She took chances. Most importantly, she became exactly who she wanted to be.

Somewhere along the way, our circles merged. My best friend became her friend too. Dinners, happy hours, work trips, and life’s ups and downs became shared experiences. What began as a chance encounter slowly became one of those friendships that feels like it has always existed.

That’s why it’s funny to think that none of it was planned.

Had I not arrived early that night, had I chosen a table instead of a seat at the bar, had either one of us been in a hurry, our paths may never have crossed.

Yet here we are.